Thursday, October 22, 2009


You're sleeping peacefully and I'm up alone. Your Daddy had a going-away party to attend. I chose to stay home instead of trying to find someone to sit here while you slept.

I realize that I've shared so much about you in these pages but little about myself. Perhaps I should tell you more about me... about where I am in all of this. I'll try tonight.

Who am I? Good grief, that's a question I don't even know how to start answering. I am your Mom. I am your Daddy's wife. I am so much- so little. I used to love to sing. I still do but I'm realizing it's not a paid job... no big checks rolling in for the number of times I sing 'itzy-bitzy spider'. :)

I don't mind because its for you. But we're getting off the subject, tonight is about me. I'm passionate, when I believe in someone or something I'd fight almost to the death for them/it. Like you, I dared you to keep growing inside me but now I'd die the worst, most painful death to make sure you smile more days than you don't. But again, I digress...

I'm quick to be sharp tounged. I don't mean to be mean, it's just the way I ended up. I promise, I'll always take pause before I say hurtful things to you... I'm learning patience and to hold my tounge these days.

I am matter-of-fact. If you don't knock your eyes out bumping your head on something, don't expect a big show. You'll be fine. I'll kiss your boo-boos and hold your hand when your feelings get hurt but we'll move on.

I am loving. I can smother one with the amount of love I can have for them. I'm sure you'll feel the full effect of this. When I decide that it's alright to love someone. I LOVE them. I'm kind of an all-or-nothing girl.

This didn't turn out the way I'd hoped... I'll try harder in coming entries to let you know more of me, not just me with you. But the girl/woman I am individual of you.

I guess that's where I'm going wrong. I don't see you and I as separate yet. So all of the things I try to tell you about me are going to relate to you.

If I could keep you in my belly until you're grown I might try.... I just want you safe and happy.

Aah, I'm a bit of a mess over you, I suppose its allowed. :)
I love you Parker!

1 comment:

  1. Allison, Congratulations on your DS. Parker is very cute :-) He is lucky to have a mommy like you who is capturing each and every moment of his life in words. He could always go back and turn the pages when he grows up. You are a wonderful Momma!