9.15.09

You, my little tiny dream, are eight months old! I feel like time is slipping through my fingers like sand. It's all moving so quickly now. At first the days were so long, spent wondering how long you were going to sleep, when would you want to eat next, when was this dream going to come to some painful end...

The whole time I carried you, I waited for the other shoe to drop... For it to end in the cruel joke my last pregnancy had. And then you were actually born. I was in disbelief- I acutally had a baby? The thing that I've wanted my whole life had actually come to fruition?

When we brought you home, I waited for the call- you weren't mine, something terrible...

You're here! Still! And you're growing and becoming more amazing every day! I have finally breathed that sigh of relief I've so waited for...

You're almost a year old- you still have time but every day feels shorter. It's hard to explain... As you grow up some things will seem to take an eternity to you- waiting for Christmas, a year of school. But when you look back it will all have passed in the blink of an eye.

I love you so very much, SO VERY MUCH. I am proud of you every day- even the day you scared us all and refused to eat. I will be proud of you on your first day of school and you don't want anyone to see me kiss you with tears in my eyes. I will be proud of you on the day you say you hate me and that I don't understand... I will always be proud of you. I will always stand behind you and I will always strive to be the best mother to you and to be a better person for you.

I love you Parker!
Mommy